Childhood....

I have been reading a friends blog about childhood and a book on motherhood at the same time this week. I have also struggled with watching my husband deal with losing an uncle and am still struggling with the fact that I may soon loose an aunt. I started thinking about life and my own childhood and the memories came flooding back.....the year my mom coached my softball team, laying next to my dog Rockie and watching him die, building a girl scout float with my dad, "driving" on my Uncle Charlie's lap, making mud pies with my cousins, doing cherry-drops, laying on the driveway at Aunt Diane's eating Popsicles, Grandma's blackberry jam and biscuits, my Aunt crying the day Conway Twitty died, running over Wendy with the lawnmower (for fun, no one got hurt!), riding bikes, my mom teaching me to sew, the way my Aunt Shirley's house always smelled, playing on the slip-n-slide, watching "Double Dare," my mom leaving, my dad taking me to buy new clothes when mom left, Candy's mom taking me out for dinner on my birthday the year my mom left, painting the locker rooms the day mom left, Chantry telling me his Mom and Dad were getting a divorce too (instead his mom got cancer and died), Dad drinking, fighting with my mom, Dad picking me up from the movies drunk, growing-up at 15.... It was during this "flood" of memories that I realized for the first time that my childhood doesn't play like a movie, more like a slide show. I don't remember many family dinners, just that they were always there, or what our daily routine was, only that we had one until we didn't. I just remember moments, the good and the bad. That made me think about the "moments" I would like my children to remember. What would they be? What did I WANT them to be?
I decided to work hard to create those moments and enjoy them. This weekend it took me 3 hours to plant flowers I could have done in 30 minutes last year. Jenna and I got out her new water table and all the potting stuff and had a ball. We planted flowers, played in the water, danced on the back porch, and she only ate one mouthful of dirt! Then today an equally rewarding (and a bit scary) moment. Brady was brought into my class, crying and bleeding. Another student had hit him in the side of the head with a rock. With in minutes, he had a knot the size of a golf ball. I held him until he calmed down and called my sister to come and take him to the doctor. We sat in my desk chair and talked and I held ice on his head until my sister got there. I realized it didn't really matter what happened today, he probably won't even remember it. BUT, I bet he remembers later on that when he needed us, his mom and I were there. It was then and there that I gave up the idea of being Supermom and decided to just be a super mom. I may not ever win mom of the year or teacher of the year for that matter but, I am going to live each day to it's fullest, enjoy the gift God has given me in all of my children (born to me and not born to me). I am going to stop sweating the small stuff (or at least not sweat it so much). I may not look like those made for TV Mom's with their Better Homes and Gardens houses BUT, I am doing the best I can with what God gave me and I know that in the end that will be enough. I now have a 2 new motto's-My house is clean enough to be healthy and messy enough to be happy! AND We may not have it all together but together we have it all!

MIA

Okay, so I have been a little MIA lately. As most of you know, I am finishing up my last year at my current school and have been so busy I don't have time to blink! So here is what we have been up to:

• Jenna is trying really hard to walk. She is into everything and her favorite saying is "No, No!"
• Jason took Brady to his 2nd Springfield Cardinals game and he had a ball.
• Brady had his 1st school musical.
• Ashlee and I have been MAP testing.
• My Dad and Bro-in-Law (Brad) are moving to Oklahoma and starting new jobs.
• The Baby-sitters kids have had the stomach flu (so Jenna couldn't go!).
• We have been to Oklahoma and back moving Dad and Brad.
• I have been contacted by 2 schools for job interviews.
• My Pa-In-Law's brother died of cancer (2 weeks after being diagnosed).
• I had 4 hours of eMINTS training last night.
• We took 120 2nd & 4th graders to see a play at a local university.
• & today was track & field day!

And that was just this week! So I will try to do better next week and post some pictures of Brady's musical and other fun stuff, BUT we are moving my sister tomorrow so wish me luck with time for an interesting blog. MAY take a few weeks.

Scariest moment of my life......

Last night I was giving Jen a bath while A & B played outside in the sandbox. She was having a grand ol' time splashing and standing up and down. I put a towel on the edge of a tub to absorb all the splashing and step to the next room to peek out the window to check on A & B. Jenna is quiet, she is never quiet. I was out of the room for maybe 45 seconds and she climbs out of the bathtub for the first time ever and is standing on the top of my very steep stairs. She has already made it down one step. I yell JENNA, which is not a good idea when a 11 month old is standing at the top of 15 steep stairs with tile at the bottom. I run to her and scoop her up...she is grinning and I am crying. For 24 hours I have thought 100 times of how much my life could have changed in those 45 seconds......

I think we may have taken charity a little to far....

As most of you know, my best friend has MS. She was diagnosed the first year we started teaching together (about 2 1/2 years ago) and is doing well. Every year we walk in the MS Walk in Springfield to raise money and this year we may have taken it a little far....
Saturday morning we get up and it is raining and cold (42 degrees). It is early and it is Saturday so I am crabby! I get Jenna dressed to go to Grammie's, she was going to ride in the stroller but it is too cold. Then I start getting ready and J is being sooooooo sllloooowwww! It is stressing my already crabby butt out. SO I b*tch at him for taking to long and for wearing to many layer (because he is going to b*tch about the heat being on in the truck). We finally get in the truck, 1o minutes late, and I have to run back in for an umbrella. While J is getting his SNOW clothes and I b*tch at him some more. We drop Jenna off an head north, I am still secretly thinking what a waste of time it was for J to get all that snow crap. So I preface the pictures with the following words-3 MILE WALK, NO SNOW CLOTHES FOR ME, WET SHOES, & HYPOTHERMIA (okay maybe that last one is taking it a little to far!).

The Snow as the temp drops 10 degrees between home and Springfield.

Mandy & Christian walking behind us in the snow and rain.

Me wearing J's hat after the walk-yes the hat I was b*tching about him taking to long to get is the only thing that kept my ears from falling off!

J in his snow gear & I am sure he as AT LEAST 10 degrees warmer than me.

The moral of this story is: We raised a lot of money for MS and J is a much better person than me because after as much as I b*tched about him taking so long and wearing so many layers, I would have let my butt freeze (but he shared all his warm things with me!)!

For all my loyal followers....

Just in case some of you can not go to bed tonight without knowing (LOL), Jenna went to bed at bedtime, slept all night, and so did we! HOPEFULLY we are on the right track.

Still not sleeping & an uplifting story....

Okay so last night we were up 20 times between 8-11! I am obviously not doing something right. We'll see how tonight goes.

So my uplifting story.....

About 6 weeks ago my uncle received the news that he had a large mass in his abdomen. Then he was told it was cancer and he had 3-12 months to live. Last week he went to a cancer treatment hospital in TX. This week they removed a WATERMELON size tumor from his abdomen and he is doing very well. The miracle of this story is that they believe they have got all of the cancer and he should make a FULL recovery. That was the answer to a lot of prayers.

Jenna & her Miracle Uncle!
(Not to mention her now much happier Aunt)

Hoppy Easter

My first Easter dress.

My first Easter Basket!
Hunting Eggs behind the curtains with Uncle Lance.
Having a ball playing in my chair.

Jenna's first Easter was a cold one but here are a few pictures to share of that HOPPY DAY!

Maybe this is getting better!

We are doing so much better. We definitely should have done this months ago.

Night #4: (Daddy's account)

830-Daddy gave her a bottle and put her in bed asleep.

930-1130-Up 5 times. Daddy just gave her the passy and patted her back.

Daddy says she slept all night after that (or Daddy slept through it but they both survived).

Night #5:

7:30-Mommy gives her a bottle and lays her in bed still awake. She plays for about 30 minutes and fusses. I go up, put her passy in and lay her down. I leave about 15 minutes later (I just sat there and watched). We hear her moving around for about 10 more minutes but she puts herself to sleep. MUCH easier than previous nights.

She woke up 3 times throughout the night. Passy back in and asleep. ANYBODY have any ideas how to stop the habit of us putting the passy back in 3-4 times a night?

Tonight we are already down for the night (7:45). We'll see if maybe she will stay down. This is getting easier by the night and I feel a lot better than I felt this time last week.

And Rome Fell......

Okay, so we started out great. Then Easter and the change of her routine hit! We went to J's G-ma's for Easter dinner. Way to much going on and Jenna didn't eat dinner. SO, we headed home about 8 (she had her normal bedtime bottle on the way home) and she went to sleep in the car. We carried her in asleep and put her in bed. So I am fully expecting her to start the wake up and crying thing anytime but, 10:00 came and she was still asleep. SO you can hear me now: I am FABULOUS! I am SUPERMOM!

NIGHT #3:

11:30. I had just got into the REM mode when "AHHHHH" from upstairs. I tried to ignore her but it just keep getting louder so.....

11:35-go up and put in the passy (which is the next habit to break!). Goes back to sleep.

11:55 Up again-Daddy puts her back to sleep-just the passy and a pat (no bottle or picking up).

12:15-12:45 We get up 10-12 times. MOM is ready to cave.....Daddy is still trying.

12:45-Daddy gives in, we convince ourselves that she must be hungry because she didn't eat dinner and we give her a bottle. Well, she did sleep all night after that!

So we caved in...tonight I'm MIA (more on that at a later date) so we will report Daddy's progress tomorrow.

ON they bright side, the babysitter is on board and she said today when she laid her down at nap time, she went right to sleep without a bottle or rocking for the first time, so we must be making progress.

Rome wasn't built in a day.....

Okay, so we survived the 1st night. She got up again at 11:30, I did go up and put her passy in (another bad habit I am sure!), but she didn't have to be rocked and she did go back to sleep.

Night #2:

Tonight we had out Easter Dinner, so at bedtime, my aunt and uncle were still here. Daddy did his usual bottle and hold trick (next thing to work on!) and put her to bed at 7:50.

8:10-We are awake and crying for attention. I go up, put her passy in and fight the urge to just rock her to sleep this one time. It has been a long day-Easter dinner for 15 at my house-so give me a break here! Jenna starts to play....

8:30-Start sobbing from the crib, Mom sits outside the door trying not to sob herself.

8:45-Still sobbing-WOW this kid has lungs. Mom goes in and places passy back in mouth and lays the standing, sobbing, kid back down (5 times!).

8:55-Starts coughing we are crying so hard. Mom can't handle much more. Lays Jenna on her side and rubs her head to calm her down (probably not a great idea, but it took us 11 month to ruin her, will probably take more than 1 night to fix it!)

9:00-starting to calm down. Mom sits beside the bed, Jenna needs the occasional pat on the back to be reassured.

9:1o Jenna rolls around and gets comfortable.

9:15 Mom leaves room-she's almost asleep.

9:20-Jenna cries out-Mom doesn't go up.

9:25- A little more noise and then all is quiet. Success for now at least!

As Jenna was screaming I was thinking "Why didn't I do this sooner?" Well, the answer is until she starting throwing fits, I didn't really think about the different ways she cried. I just wanted her to feel loved, safe, and secure. Then I realized she does but she also wants to test Mommy and Daddy. She wants to be in control and do what she wants to do. The crying tonight wasn't "nobody loves me," it was "HEY People, don't you know the Princess wants something!" I don't think I could have done it before now, BUT, I will not create the same monster with her siblings!

We've created the monster, now we have to fix it.....

The Root of All Evil!


Night 1:

Okay, so we have done a great job of creating a routine for Jenna. UNFORTUNATELY-it is not the right one. Each night she has a bath, then around 7:30 Daddy gives her a bottle and holds her until she goes to sleep. BAD habit, so when she was 4 months old we put her in her bed, in her room and we or should I say I, tried not giving her a bottle at night. But,Daddy figured out really quickly that a bottle meant she went right back to sleep. So that is how we got here; 11 months old and getting up to have a bottle AT LEAST once a night. One night last week we went upstairs 8 times during the night! YES, 8! So, I was fed up......it was time. I didn't think I could let her cry herself to sleep but that was the only advice I kept coming back to, self comforting.

That brings us to night one:

7:15-Daddy gives her a bottle and holds her for 20 minutes while she sleeps and then takes her up to bed (Mom watches, knowing this has to stop).

7:45-Daddy is back upstairs, Jenna is crying. Daddy rocks, back to sleep by 8:00.

8:10-Mommy is taking a bath, Daddy is back up stairs, rocking Jenna again.

8:25-Mommy has had enough. Goes upstairs, puts Jenna in her crib to "self-comfort." Mommy and Daddy "discuss" how this is BULLSH*T and that Mommy is watching to much Super Nanny, Dr. Phil, Oprah, Etc. Jenna fusses. Mommy pats her back, so far this is going okay.

8:30-still not asleep, Jenna thinks it is time to play. Daddy has slipped into nightly coma, thank God, would have never let this go on this long.

9:00-Playtime and fussing continue-Mommy watches "Numbers" and hopes this will work.

9:15-Mommy calls Aunt Manda for support, fussing getting louder. Mommy goes up to sit in her room. Keeps telling herself she CAN NOT pick her up.

9:30-Fussing turns into crying. Mommy tries laying her down in crib with passy and putting hand on back for support. NOPE...

9:45 Jenna finally fusses out, lets Mommy put hand on back and then walk away while she is still awake. Goes to sleep by herself, success.....

9:50 Daddy chokes while snoring and starts coughing loud enough to wake the neighbors. Jenna starts crying again. Mommy places passy in mouth and lets her put herself to sleep.... (Mommy wants to CHOKE Daddy whom she is convinced is trying to sabotage the entire thing....have discussion over not having to help, but not hindering either, Daddy falls back into coma!)

To BE CONTINUED......

Has it really been almost a year?

The 3 kids-the night before Jenna was born!
New Born Jenna!

Jenna will be 11 months old next week and I can't believe it! So here is the list of what I have learned over the last 11 months:

• Child birth can be done "naturally," even when induced.


• If you do it "naturally" Stacy will bring you a GOLD STAR!


• Nursing is great and exhausting and you really begin to not care who you offend doing it in public!


• Nursing D's do go back to Prepregancy A-'s! :0(


• If you change a newborns diaper every time they are wet, you'd better own stock in Pampers.


• Babies bring out the best and worst in people.


• You really can go back to work IF you trust your babysitter.


• Some people are better parents if they don't stay home full time...maybe I don't have what it takes.


• There really should be something that will hold that passy in her mouth in the car.


• You can never have TO MANY passies in the car or anywhere for that matter!


• Everything looks better with spit up, drool, food, etc. on it (or you just except it and convince yourself it does).


• No matter how hard you both try it is NEVER 50/50 with Moms & Dads.


• No matter how much time Grammie and Poppy get a week, they will say they don't see her at all (not bitter about this at all am I!?!).


• No matter how tired you are they can always make you act silly and smile.


• Nothing has ever been more exhausting or rewarding.


• They really are more fun to dress than you are!


• AND finally-you can't force a kid to like green beans!
  

NOW-here is what I am still trying to figure out:

• HOW do you get a child to sleep through the night?
• Why are otherwise intelligent parents, still feeding this child bottles at night?
• How do you get Dad to spend less time at work and more time with his daughter?
• Can you love you daughter enough to love all her Grandparents?
• When did almost 1 year olds start throwing terrible two fits?
• Does ignoring these fits really work?

Okay, so I still have a lot to learn. AND for anyone willing to help with the sleeping issues, comments are welcome. (FYI-yes she is in her own room and bed, has been since 4 months, we have tried the comfort item and I don't know if I could do the crying herself to sleep thing.)